So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
