well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
