are you still at the devil's house?
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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