i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
