operation have a gay friend backfired
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
