i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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