you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
