would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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