i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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