Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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