I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
