That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I looked at my own cervix.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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