Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
