Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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