I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
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