This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
