i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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