I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize