Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
