why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why didn't you poke me back
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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