she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Did I show you my penis last night?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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