there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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