have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
