Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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