Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
