i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I believe in your delicious
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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