pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
