i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
