UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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