how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
