you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.