I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list