Texts From Last Night

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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?

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  (218): The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it? http://tfl.nu/eoc0
  Replies (3) Good night (2844) Bad night (725)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1702) Bad night (5834)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..

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  (248): She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls.. http://tfl.nu/aren
  Replies (5) Good night (2672) Bad night (1312)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b

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  (314): The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b http://tfl.nu/enbb
  Replies (9) Good night (950) Bad night (4622)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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  (708): Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success. http://tfl.nu/6b9r
  Replies (12) Good night (2570) Bad night (918)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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  (613): I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another. http://tfl.nu/23d2
  Replies (10) Good night (1300) Bad night (2012)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...

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  (585): Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband... http://tfl.nu/78x2
  Replies (6) Good night (712) Bad night (1851)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter

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  (614): Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter http://tfl.nu/3fce
  Replies (6) Good night (1876) Bad night (787)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.

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  (865): No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP. http://tfl.nu/2htz
  Replies (3) Good night (1200) Bad night (454)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart

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  (407): Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart http://tfl.nu/psb2
  Replies (4) Good night (604) Bad night (321)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!

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  (315): Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night! http://tfl.nu/mal7
  Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (297)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.

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  (360): I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this. http://tfl.nu/75ao
  Replies (4) Good night (413) Bad night (594)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!

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  (765): You made out with both twins? Ten points to you! http://tfl.nu/66hj
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (197)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.

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  (360): I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell. http://tfl.nu/86ec
  Replies (5) Good night (243) Bad night (408)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.

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  (205): I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/08mb
  Replies (0) Good night (208) Bad night (331)

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