so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing