So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
