no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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