i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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