i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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