you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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