Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
