i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
