Having a random hookup so left but love u
It's Friday. Sex?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
