can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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