Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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