life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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