you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
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