im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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