Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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