i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
