just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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