So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
