How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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