he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
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Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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