The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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