I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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