Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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