The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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