No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize