Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
