Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
